From a young age I never truly felt like I fit in, and I know that makes me sound like I am trying to make myself seem different and unique. This is extremely true to me because when I was younger, my ADHD always made me wish I was normal like everyone around me. I always had that crushing fear that I was too weird for everyone around me. This resulted in me consistently morphing my personality in order for people to like me. So when I found the song “Car Radio” by Twenty-One Pilots, I was finally able to fully articulate that feeling that fear of being too much. Thanks to my ADHD, I have a harder time regulating my emotions. Along with the fact that sometimes when it comes to friends I feel like I sometimes overwhelm others with my “openness”. The song starts out slow with 65 beats per minute, thus forcing you to clearly hear the lyrics. The song opens with “I ponder of something great...I know it’s dire my time today”. I believe it shows how anxiety can make you wish you were as great as a Greek god/goddess. I also see the song as saying that you know you can be great; however, you sometimes do not think you can live up to whatever you had in your mind. Equally moving and touching, it goes on to say, “‘Cause somebody stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence. Sometimes quiet is violent. I find it hard to hide it.” I always interpreted car radio as music, and that without music then all your demons would be able to take over; whether your demons are depression, anxiety, or addiction (of any sort). Then the lyrics go on... “I ponder of something terrifying ‘cause this time there’s no sound to hide behind.” Music was always able to help me through any emotional and mental pain I was feeling. For me personally, I always felt like without music then I would not be alive today. So to imagine a world without music would be absolutely scary and grim to me, because in that world I truly do not know where I would be. Artists and bands such as Twenty-One Pilots were able to help me understand myself better and also find the words to explain those feelings y. During the latter half of the song, the beats per minute pick up to 129, thus showing that the emotions are never going to go away. The next batch of lyrics that touched my soul were, “Peace will win and fear will lose… Faith is to be awake. And to be awake is for us to think. And for us to think is to be alive. And I will try with every rhyme. To come across like I am dying. To let you know you need to try to think.” I feel like this is coming to terms with the fact that you may not understand everything that you are experiencing now but you are truly doing your best. It may seem like it is not enough but you are doing what is the right and best thing to do in your situation. The song kinda ends with him screaming the lyrics “And now I just sit in silence,” over and over again. I believe this shows how it is a never ending cycle of trying to control your demons and sometimes letting them control you; whilst, still trying to tame all the dark aspects of your mind.
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